Sidenote: I am blogging like a rockstar this week…4/4!
Throughout our marital counselling, there have been a couple more common themes that I, in particular, struggle with.
#1) Loving myself enough
#2) Being Kind to myself
Like many, many people… I am my worst critic. There is probably nothing you could say to me, that I haven’t said to myself. When I make mistakes, I am doubly hard on myself and I am constantly seeking perfection.
These two factors make personal growth tricky. You have be kind to yourself, to love yourself…and you have to love yourself to be kind to yourself…and you have to do both to grow.
So I’m working on them, hard. I’ve been given a couple tips by counselor P that I’d like to share…because I think we ALL probably could use them.
#1) Never, ever, judge yourself for feeling something. Emotions are real, but not always reality, but the fact that you are feeling them is always right (even if your perception of the situation is not).
#2) Don’t say anything to yourself that wouldn’t say to a hurting 3 year old.
#3) Never apologize for your feelings. You can’t control feelings – and they are never wrong. If you’re feeling scared, you’re feeling scared. You may not actually be in danger – so your perception of the situation may be wrong – but that doesn’t change the fact that you are feeling scared. Don’t ever say you’re sorry for them.
#4) The only person you are guaranteed is yourself. Love that person like you love you spouse, your child, God (if you’re religious), your family. Take care of that person – because they are all you truly have.
#5) Self soothe. Whatever it is that makes you feel good – for me, it’s blogging, reading, playing my violin, meditating and walking my dogs. I try to do them all every day so I know I get ample self care in my day. Honestly, they each take very little time and in the end – I feel so much better.
#6) Exercise, eat right and sleep enough. These are the most important, because a bad diet, bad sleep or too much pent up energy have the potential to derail every attempt you make to be well.
So there they are…the key tips to help love yourself more, and be kinder to yourself courtesy of Counselor P. They’re not easy, it is an adjustment and a lifestyle change, but so far it has really been helpful.