It’s a sad day today…I mean…sad as in first-world-problems kind of sad day…
You see, today I realized that I’ve outgrown Harry Potter. Or, rather, MY use of Harry Potter as a safe place (because no one can really outgrow HP…<3).
When I first discovered HP…it was at a particularly challenging part of my life. I sought refuge in those pages, and I remember praying at night that I would wake up the next morning in HP’s world. I readily devoured each book … and painfully awaited the final three to be released. I cried when I was done reading them, and then re-read them more times than I am willing to admit over the next 10 years…
They *literally* got me through high school and my undergrad. My world was cruel and unforgiving, and I sought solace and comfort in those pages (and movies). I carried this coping skill right into my marriage and through our battle with infertility. I escaped from my world into Harry Potter’s – more times than I could ever count.
A lot has happened this last year. Some good, some bad. Through that time I have developed a lot of really healthy coping skills… playing violin (my one skill from before), learning the guitar, breathing exercises, meditating, exercise, healthy eating, talking, journalling… I do these things daily – whether I’m good or not – to maintain wellness.
Then, yesterday, they were playing an HP marathon so I turned it on and I felt joy, happiness, humour and love….but that was it. No comfort. No solace. Just enjoyment.
And it dawned on me – somehow, somewhere, my soul has healed and grown enough that I actually no longer need to escape into Harry Potter. It happened so quickly, so subtlety, that I didn’t even notice it happening. It just happened.
It’s amazing. The mind is a truly amazing thing, and it’s ability to heal to develop new neural pathways is incredible.
I mean – I still LOVE Harry Potter. Watching the movies or re-reading the books is like slipping into my favourite jammies…and it feels like home. But it’s not the lifeblood it was before – I don’t need it to survive.
I am finally at a place where I can choose to watch it – not because I need it – but because I enjoy it.
Do you have a movie/book/place that you seek solace in? Have you ever outgrown a comfort?