I had a really interesting chat with a coworker last week on what’s considered cheating.
To me – flirting, suggesting, looking for an affair and reciprocal kissing are all very close to cheating – and need to be discussed with your spouse because clearly there are problems in your marriage that need working out (as long as you both wish to remain married).
To her – all of the above is OK and normal part of life. It’s what makes being an adult fun. She believes her husband does not know, or need to know.
Completely, 100% shocked me. She is a good friend and this is NOT what I expected from her.
When I married Mr. Big I committed myself to him and our marriage. 100%. In good times and bad. That includes not flirting, suggesting, kissing or looking for opportunities to have an affair because – I am committed to him. We don’t always get along (actually, lately we seem to be on opposite ends of the same ladder and can’t find our way together) but that’s OK because that’s part of life. We’re a team, and part of that commitment is finding each other when we drift apart – over and over and over again.
Having said that – I also acknowledge that there are many different types of marriages out there and not everyone subscribes to the same lifestyle I do – and that’s OK with me, as long as it is a marital decision made together. When it’s one person doing them secretly and hiding them from their spouse…I don’t know…sounds an awful lot like cheating, doesn’t it?
What are your thoughts? I know I’m not alone in my thinking, but I also know she is not alone in hers. It’s really got me thinking and I’m curious to know what you all think too.
P.S: Don’t worry I am not going to interfere with their marriage – they’ve been together 28 years, have grown children and have fought the entire way…they can sort this out themselves. I am just curious what your thoughts are.