#microblogmondays – Love Day!

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I can remember when I found Valentine’s Day hard because I was single (and 21…pppffttt I was sooo young). At that time, I had no idea how many more holidays I had in store for me that would be hard because I was missing something. I was focused on Valentines and how much it sucked to not have someone to love.

But then I found him. A big, soft, loving, kind, generous and gentle man of my very own to love and be loved by for ever and ever. Then I married him and I mostly fall more in love with him every day (except when he leaves his underwear on the floor for the babillionth time). Just like that, Valentine’s Day was good again! I had my Valentine, and so February 14th could come and go without causing me any pain. Valentine’s Day was redeemed!


I try to remember this when I am aching over Christmas, or Mother’s/Father’s Day, or Family Day. I hope, and pray, that they too will be redeemed, just like Valentine’s, and that eventually I will find my home filled with giggles and little feet to share in the magic of holidays with!

Happy Valentines day to you! What could be more beautiful than a holiday all about love? Do you like this day? How do you/do you celebrate?


#Microblogmondays – Gamechangers

12 weeks ago, I decided to apply (on a whim, really) to my local University for my Masters. It’s a pipe dream of mine that I had just started when I met Mr. Big, but deferred for marriage and children … lol….little did I know the latter part wouldn’t be so easy. When I applied a couple weeks ago I figured, if I didn’t get in,then that would be God’s way of saying “let go of this dream” and I was OK with that. If I did get in – well I hadn’t really considered how that would affect our goal to be parents. As time went on and I didn’t receive an offer, I began to accept that I needed to let this dream go.

And then, I got in. Much to my complete surprise and utter excitement. I actually got in. I got the email just a couple days ago (email?? When I went the first time, I had to painstakingly await the mailed package…compulsively checking the mail every single day). So, in the very same month I turn the big 3-0, I will also be starting my journey in the graduate school world. How exciting!

We will still have children. But when – I’m not sure anymore (ha, like I ever had control over that). People who went back to school later in life – is it possible to go through school with a newborn/small children? Or is it best to bite the bullet and just wait it out?

This is definitely a game changer.

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Cheating – #microblogmonday

I had a really interesting chat with a coworker last week on what’s considered cheating.

To me – flirting, suggesting, looking for an affair and reciprocal kissing are all very close to cheating – and need to be discussed with your spouse because clearly there are problems in your marriage that need working out (as long as you both wish to remain married).

To her – all of the above is OK and normal part of life. It’s what makes being an adult fun. She believes her husband does not know, or need to know.

Completely, 100% shocked me. She is a good friend and this is NOT what I expected from her.

When I married Mr. Big I committed myself to him and our marriage. 100%. In good times and bad. That includes not flirting, suggesting, kissing or looking for opportunities to have an affair because – I am committed to him. We don’t always get along (actually, lately we seem to be on opposite ends of the same ladder and can’t find our way together) but that’s OK because that’s part of life. We’re a team, and part of that commitment is finding each other when we drift apart – over and over and over again.

Having said that – I also acknowledge that there are many different types of marriages out there and not everyone subscribes to the same lifestyle I do – and that’s OK with me, as long as it is a marital decision made together. When it’s one person doing them secretly and hiding them from their spouse…I don’t know…sounds an awful lot like cheating, doesn’t it?

What are your thoughts? I know I’m not alone in my thinking, but I also know she is not alone in hers. It’s really got me thinking and I’m curious to know what you all think too.

P.S: Don’t worry I am not going to interfere with their marriage – they’ve been together 28 years, have grown children and have fought the entire way…they can sort this out themselves. I am just curious what your thoughts are.


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#microblogmondays – An Awakening

I’m a helper…I like to help people. It helps them, and it makes me feel good, so it’s a double win. However, I also have a problem saying no and often agree to things that I quickly regret. People learn that I like to help and will do most things, and then request or expect it of me – coupled with my inability to say no – which leads to a very busy Raven. Frequently (as in, four out of seven days a week) I take care of my nephews after work/on the weekend. On top of that, I have swim lessons that I take them to on Fridays, painting class/book club on Tuesdays, the gym on Mon, Wed and Fri and three dogs to walk, feed, love and provide for.

It makes for a very busy life, but I like to be busy. Nothing makes me more content then getting shit done – even if I’m sick, I keep on trudging. It makes me feel useful, and I need to feel useful.

And then I got pneumonia. In both lungs. With a topping of bronchitis. For eight straight days I couldn’t leave the house. I laid in bed/on the couch trying to remember to track my medications (two steroid inhalers, one steroid pill, one antibiotic and one over the counter cold medicine) because they had to be administered at just the right times, in the right order and binge watching Roseanne, then Friends, then Fuller House all the while trying not to cough to death. Even when I started to feel better, I couldn’t walk to the bathroom without having a coughing fit that would result in vomiting. I was officially house bound….and to be honest, it rocked. Well…the coughing/gagging/vomiting thing didn’t rock but the do my own shit thing was awesome. I also had plenty of time to reflect and think about life. It made me realize one immense thing:

  • I don’t actually enjoy being so busy…but I need to be busy for my own peace of mind. And I need to be busy because it makes me feel useful…and I need to feel useful because I usually feel like a useless, infertile, non-mothering woman. And that is very sad.

Thanks, Universe, for the sign. I need to slow down, I see that now and I will slow down. I will also stop filling the void in my heart with busyness that just exhausts me, and start practicing self care. Most importantly, I will begin to explore all the things that I am good at. I may not be good at making babies, but I am most definitely not useless.


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#microblogmondays – Harry Again!

I don’t know where I’ve been but I JUST learned that there is new Harry Potter coming out!

Saying I’m excited would be an understatement, although I am also a bit hesitant as it go one of two ways: either it will bomb or it will be incredible. Let’s hope for the latter!

In the spirit of a true fan, I am currently re-reading the entire series – which, I must say, is no less amazing than it was 15 years ago when I read it for the first time.


Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Parts I and II (Special Rehearsal Edition): The Official Script Book of the Original West End Production

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#Microblog Mondays – What Irks

In response to Mel @ Stirrup Queens #MicroblogMondays Post (go check it out here).

The biggest, boldest most irk-a-licious peeve of mine that is non dangerous is hands down – without a doubt – the word “Yous”.

Like so many of you, I find blatant grammar mistakes can be incredibly painful to my eyes. However, as I am not an expert I usually try to let it go because I am sure, to someone who is more particular than me, my posts probably reek of poor grammar.

Except for “yous”…I cannot let go of “yous”.

Not only is “yous” NOT a word…it’s also not plural just because you add an inappropriate “s” on to it. (Mices? Mooses? Jameses? Mrses?) I promise, you can say the same thing and NOT have an inappropriate “s” dragging your message down from “average joe” to “hold ma’ beer”.

See here:

“Have a great day yous guys!” = “Have a great day you guys!” (Notice the lack of “s” on “you”? Yet the meaning is the same?)

“Love yous!” = “Love you both/all” (Again, no “s” on “you” and still the meaning is the same)

Now that I’ve mentioned this, it’s opening a whole cataclysm of word misuse that makes my brain hurt….so before we get into the their/there/they’re and the two/too/to and the common (not to be confused with “come on”) and the seen (when it should be “saw”) mixed up with the lack of appropriate ; : , . ? ! …..

Okay, I’m stopping now because I have no power to stop this post that is about to become a novel regarding the irritating way people misuse basic english.

Oh and don’t forget “thru” (through) and “u” (you)….

Now I’m stopping, I promise.

Just one more: irregardless (regardless)

Ok, last one: Aks (not ask)

I’m done. I promise.

#Microblog Mondays #2 – Chicken Cordon Bleu…but not

Mr. Big decided he wanted to spice things up by cooking (gasp) a surprise meal for me. I LOVE that he came up with this, especially since he never cooks (if he does it’s part of a meal or it’s something frozen or from a box/can/takeout place).

I had visions of pad thai or fried rice or burritos or some new casserole… knowing I am lactose intolerant limits our options, so you can imagine my surprise when he told me it was Chicken Cordon Bleu.

I was worried … there is only one thing in the whole world that I cannot eat without throwing up: ham. I am also lactose intolerant. Traditional Chicken Cordon Bleu has ham and cheese in it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt his feelings or be unable to eat it.

He promised me he made adjustments – and what he ended up bringing out was essentially a breaded chicken breast stuffed with lunch meat roast beef and lactose free swiss cheese.

I love, love LOVE that he wanted to do this. I love that he was creative and thoughtful in his compromise knowing my intolerance/dislike for ham. I LOVE that he wanted to spice things up a bit by doing something so kind and thoughtful. But I’ll be OK if I never have to eat that again!! LOL!

I told him it was good anyway because I know how lucky I am that he wanted to do this for me – and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Which my Mom pointed out will only lead to it becoming a regular on our family meal planning…. I may have to tell him the truth.

Next time, maybe we will pick a recipe together, and cook it together! It’s a lot more fun that way, and then we can ensure it is something we will both enjoy! 🙂