I kind of alluded in my Monday post to an awkward baby shower on Sunday…here are the details.
In the past, I have handled baby showers quite well…but now I’m over 30 (my previous deadline to be done child bearing and I haven’t even begun), and it’s been 6 years of failure after failure…and my patience for these things is running out really fast.
On Sunday I had a baby shower for my cousin, who is 21 and also a PCOS sufferer. Unlike me, she had every classic symptom of PCOS and was pretty much told she would struggle immensely to have children. She was only 18 when she found out, and I was a support for her through the initial diagnosis. She wasn’t planning on having children until over 30, so she wasn’t worried at all. I worried enough for both of us … knowing she likely had a hard road ahead of her.
Imagine my surprise when she announced she had accidentally gotten pregnant with her on again-off again boyfriend (they just had sex ONE TIME and bam, pregnant). Add with that the fact that neither she, nor her boyfriend, have jobs or go to school and they live in a room in her Mom’s already overcrowded house. Fast forward 7 months – they still do not have jobs, and are not trying to get jobs, and still live with her Mother in one tiny room too small for their bed and a crib. There has been zero preparation for this babies arrival. At the shower on Sunday, she announced that the first sleeper she was given was the very first sleeper she had for the baby…who is due in just 6 weeks. She was given a bassinet by her Aunt and Uncle, and she said she is so relieved because that is the only bed for the baby – and hopefully he won’t grow out of it for a couple years because there is no space for a bigger bed (a couple YEARS…babies grow out of bassinets in a couple months!).
I am trying SO HARD not to judge, but you guys…I’m JUDGING.
Add onto all of that – they had this stupid game where cupcakes were baked, and one had a baby inside. Whoever got the baby was the next new Mama, and got a prize plus was given the hat they made from the ribbons and bows (as a kind of “passing of the torch”).
Naturally, I avoided this game like the plague. I knew I couldn’t handle it.
My Mom and sisters didn’t, though, so OF COURSE my Mom was the one to get the stupid baby. The hostess then announced it must be a grandchild, and every looked at me because neither of my sisters want more kids.
Cue the intelligent, kind women I know turning into blubbering, baby starved fools. There were comments “When ARE you going to get pregnant?”, or “It’s about time…you’ve been married HOW long?” and my personal favourite “Enjoy your social life, sleeping in and quiet house now because babies change everything!”…followed by knowing giggles and belly pokes. They didn’t seem to mind that I am not actually pregnant nor the fact that a stupid game of luck doesn’t determine when or if I will ever get pregnant.
I bailed immediately after. I didn’t even say goodbye to anyone, and I didn’t take the stupid ribbon hat.
I think I will stay home from baby showers going forward.
Do you go to baby showers? What are some tricks/tips you use to get through them?